Mortgage brokers
Mortgages so quick, the stamp duty gets whiplash.
Australia's most fictional brokerage. We kick home loans in the arse, refinance the embarrassing ones, and get the application done before the listing disappears.
Brokers: this is the fact find. Actually have a crack.
Three steps.
Zero real money.
- 01
Tell us the dream
Names, income, the property you saw at 11pm - a coffee’s worth of questions, not a weekend of PDFs.
- 02
We hunt the lenders
Structures, serviceability, the boring bits. You stay in the loop without a 40-email chain.
- 03
You pick a loan
We present options. You choose. Keys (emotionally) follow. Stamp duty still applies in the real world.
The fact find is not a lead form
You type the story once. It lands in a working scenario - the file we actually run. If the listing changes, you update the same fact find and it round-trips back in. That loop is the product. The jokes are free.
10x the follow-through
You bring the dream. We bring the lender list.
Trusted by Australia's best brokers ・ Trusted by Australia's best brokers ・ Trusted by Australia's best brokers ・ Trusted by Australia's best brokers ・
Homes we have emotionally closed
Stock photos. Not listings. Definitely not yours.
What our imaginary clients say
“I filled in a fact find and nobody stole my house. Five stars.”
“Paul declined me in a dream and I woke up smarter about serviceability.”
“Angus’s handshake has the grip strength of a well-priced fixed rate.”